It’s September. A time of great optimism. Particularly for all of us fall lovers who can be found overheating in the sweaters we pulled out of our closets as soon as the calendar changed over from August. The temperatures outside may still need to catch up with us, but that’s just a bothersome technicality. We’ll sprinkle it with cinnamon and a dash of denial and carry on our cozy way. After all, we don’t need external cues. Mentally, we’re always in autumn mode.
For my part, I just made my first apple crisp of the season, I’m lighting candles like it’s my job, and I’m preparing to turn our house into a full on festive pumpkin patch if only I could motivate myself to brave the Trader Joe’s parking lot.
I’ve also been basking in the big back to school vibes that fill the air and aisles this time of year (even though all the kids I know started school last month). I missed the registration deadline, but have still been enjoying flipping through course catalogs for the local community colleges, entertaining the idea of taking a class or two for fun.
I love learning, yes. But, more so, I’m really in the mood to be taught. After years of figuring things out for myself– curating self guided courses, creating schedules, reading books, taking notes, translating lessons into real world application with no one to guide or grade me (or tell me that I’m doing it right)– all I want is to slide into a seat and let someone who knows more than I do tell me what I need to know.
With all the fresh start energy, I thought this was a perfect time to (re)introduce myself and to get (re)acquainted with you. If you’ve been here since the beginning, you may remember this introduction from my original welcome email series. It prompted so many fun responses and, after the spirited Camp AweGust Meet n’ Greet thread, I’m really excited to have a growing community of interesting and interested people who I genuinely want to get to know and who genuinely want to get to know each other.
Go ahead and take a seat anywhere. My name is Tami. I’m your Chief Optimism Officer and I’ll get us started.
Is it just me or is introducing yourself not as straightforward as it used to be? My whole goal for this email is for us to get to know each other a little better and I didn't think telling you about myself was going to be the tricky part.
The thing is, normally, I’d start off by telling you what I do for work- Hello, I'm Tami. I am a writer and an actor and… (see also: multitude) The problem is, in a recent effort to separate my worth from my productivity, I have also had to untangle who I am from what I do.
So- scratch that.
I might try to describe myself but that would fall apart pretty quickly, too, because my default adjectives- joyful, optimistic, plucky, resilient- no longer feel like static states. In fact, most of what I'm writing about these days is around my over-identification and ongoing reinvention of those exact parts.
So- that's not going to work.
Maybe I could tell you where I’m from (the Midwest) and that I left my tiny town at 18 to live in a big city (Chicago) before moving here (LA) in the hopes that you’d get a feel for my small town sensibility and my big city heart and perhaps somewhere in there is a place or experience we have in common. (see also: togetherness)
That feels like it could be a nice place to begin…but then what?
Not to get all philosophical here, but how do you tell someone who you are? What quick facts or short anecdotes can really sum you up? I know no one expects a full picture from a single email, but how do you even offer an outline so they can at least see your shape? Particularly when you've changed a lot. When you're still changing, for that matter.
What definitive descriptions do you give when both nothing and everything feels true of you?
By now you've probably gathered that I'll be doing a lot of rambling explorations around identity, growth, and change in these dispatches. And, while I don’t have any answers, I do feel confident that the best (and most fun) way to tackle these big themes is with a spirit of curiosity and experimentation.
So, with that, I will now introduce myself in (an encyclopedia of) four words. I mean, if it was catchy enough to introduce me to my husband (a story for another time), maybe it'll be a promising ‘meet cute’ for us, too…
When I decided to return to acting, I met with a coach to identify my acting niche, the unique thruline of the roles and stories where I would shine brightest. A sort of branding-from-the-inside-out approach.
This was what we came up with: stories and roles that explore the familial bond and connection of universal love and wholeness. Pretty beautiful. But also much bigger and a bit more abstract than the ‘unsuspecting geniuses’ or ‘misunderstood women’ that other people left with.
The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized the truth of it. At the heart of everything I do, and have ever done, is a deep desire to bring people together, to shine a light on our sameness so we aren’t blinded by our differences.
(see also: algorithm, multitude)
What if the algorithm introduced us? What would it tell me about you? Or you about me? Would it be like that time someone trained a bot to write an Olive Garden commercial- an outlandish caricature that is based on truth but very inaccurate in important ways. Or would it be a scarily succinct summation of yourself?
As of today, the algorithm sends me a steady stream of cute dog videos, heartwarming news, healthy recipes that can be made in 20 minutes or less with no more than 5 ingredients, all the floral and lace dresses my heart could ever desire, and promises of public appropriate pants with elastic waist bands.
I'd say I'm feeling pretty summed up. Scarily so.
I do a lot of things. I am an actor and a writer. I work with brands on their copywriting and story strategy. Also sometimes, when the right client comes along, I design spaces. I used to own a bike shop + coffee shop with my husband and, even though it is currently part of the past, that experience informs a lot of my present, so I like to mention it. In the near future, I plan to add filmmaker to this list and reactivate my role as a small business owner.
I acknowledge that this seems like a lot of different jobs, but the way I see it, they’re all just different forms of storytelling. Different expressions and experiences that connect us to ourselves and each other. At least the way I approach them.
I started referring to myself as a creative multitude as a way to speak to the expansiveness and intentionality with which I view my many careers, rather than the distractedness it can often seem like to others. It still usually requires some elaboration, but it feels like a better place to begin the inevitable “so, what do you do?” conversation.
(see also: togetherness)
It's no secret that I have a sweet tooth. Nor am I quiet about my love for the innovative ice cream brand, Salt & Straw. But I realized the other day, as I stood at the counter and sampled every single one of their new monthly flavors, that it just might be the perfect allegory for, maybe not who I am, but how I am.
I do this every month. As soon as the new flavors are introduced, I head on over to try them. And it's not so much that I think I'll like fried chicken or blood pudding or whatever bizarre flavor of ice cream they've invented for that month's theme, it's that I've never tried it before. It might be disgusting, it might be amazing. I just want to try it, to know what it's like.
And that's how I am about pretty much everything.
(see also: multitude)
Ok, your turn! Pretend the comments are our cozy classroom, grab a name tag, and introduce yourself. Even if we’ve already met. There’s always so much more to know. If you aren’t sure what to say, use any of these fill-in-blank prompts to get you started:
Hello! My name is _____. If I had to describe myself in four words, they would be _____, _____, _____, and _____.
Hello! My name is _____. If my name was an acronym, it would stand for ______________.
Hello! My name is _____. I’m from _____ and, while I am not defined by what I do, what I do is ______.
Want to read more about how we reconcile our ever-evolving identities and inventive ways to define ourselves, you may also enjoy these essays…