I just have to say...I’m your biggest fan!

Week 2: Talking to your heroes, 2 minute super powers, and the absolute freedom of not playing it cool

In case you missed it, all August long Outsourced Optimism will be transformed into Camp AweGust, a 4 week, choose-your-own-adventure, virtual summer camp designed to combat the Sunday Scaries of Summer (otherwise known as Blah-Gust…I mean, August). We tackle the seasonal burnout and anxious boredom of these dog days with imagination, creativity, and the kind of simple joys that make us feel like a kid again. The best part is– you don’t have to go anywhere. We’ll find magic and delight and freedom exactly where we are.

It’s completely free. All are welcome. And you can invite anyone you want. In fact, it’s highly encouraged. All you need to do is bop these buttons to Subscribe and Share.

Ready to dive in? Keep scrolling to join our Week 2 festivities.

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🪧 Front Desk: Get the lowdown on this year’s Camp AweGust
🪧 Opening Day: Get the lay of the land and meet your fellow campers
🪧 Time Travel (to previous weeks): Week 1

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Somewhere along the way I stopped openly expressing my enthusiasm and started keeping my compliments to myself. I’m not sure why. Maybe I assumed that people already knew their work was good or that what they’re wearing is cool or that they look nice. That I’m the only one walking around insecure and feeling invisible most of the time– until someone tells me they like what I made or that I have a great haircut or asks me where I got my dress.

Maybe it started on the playground, as many things do, where I observed that, to be cool, one must not be bothered by anything. Everything is boring or obvious or old.

Maybe it was some mix of not wanting to be wrong (Did Tami just compliment Nicole’s sweater vest?! Ew. Her mom made her wear that. It’s disgusting. Tami has no taste.) and not wanting to draw attention to my own lack (Oh, you poor thing, of course you think sweater vests are cool because you don’t have one.) and not wanting to get made fun of (Jeez, Tami, if you love her sweater vest so much why don’t you marry it ahahahahahaha).

A few years ago, I did a letter writing project, sending love notes to people who mean a lot to me and telling them all the things I often think but don’t say. Putting words to my gratitude and their impact in my life and my respect and admiration for them was vulnerable, but it was also connecting– both between me and them, but also between me and me. Giving a voice to these quiet thoughts seemed to solidify and affirm the presence of goodness in my life and openly acknowledged my personal abundance in areas where I often feel wanting.

Since then, I’ve been making a more conscious effort to offer praise and flattery more freely, even awkwardly, and it has become a way of reclaiming the part of me that just loves things– unapologetically and with zero cool factor. It has given me permission to be enthusiastic and earnest without worrying about being too much.

The other day I shouted ‘I love your outfit!’ to a woman we passed on the street. I immediately felt insecure because there were a lot of people around. I was worried that I had been too loud, that I basically attacked her with my voice, that I embarrassed Chase, who was walking with me (but had maybe started to regret it). But before I could speed walk away, another voice piped up (also loudly), a man walking in the other direction– ‘I was just going to say the same thing!’

We all laughed, sharing a brief moment before we continued in our respective directions. But I made a mental note of that woman. How genuinely surprised and flattered she was by the attention. How she noticeably stood a bit taller, opened up a bit afterwards. We all kind of did. That’s the part I want to remember when my instinct is to hold back– these small opportunities for connection. And, if I think about it, I have yet to receive a compliment that made me feel anything other than seen. And that’s a really nice feeling I think we should share.

This week, we’re writing fan letters. Three of them, in fact.

We are going to express our gratitude and admiration with generosity and specificity. We are going to say what we love and admire about these people– their choices, their character, their work, their values– and why. Maybe we’ll share how their life has changed our own. Maybe we’ll share a fond memory or experience of them or something they created and why it’s important to us.

We will get starry-eyed and swoony. We will abandon the need to play it cool. We will reject the fear of saying too much. We will not hold back.

It’s always nice to get a response, but we won’t ask for or expect anything in return, because we will have already received the gift of clarity that comes from putting words to what matters to and moves us. In this practice, we will make others feel seen and we will come to see ourselves better. We will feel more connected inside and outside.

Writing fan mail creates an opportunity to take pleasure in my own intemperate passions. Articulating what turns me on about beautiful work transforms distant admiration into intimacy. I do not send these letters to receive a response. Instead, my fan mail is correspondence in the same sense that prayers or blessings are correspondence; it is something I do to consecrate a powerful connection, turning reverence into generosity and making no demands of the recipient.

from NYTimes, The Case For Writing Fan Mail

Here are your three assignments. Two you get to choose. The third, I am pleased to say, is non-negotiable.

I recommend writing these by hand and mailing a physical letter, but if you’d rather (or if you can’t find a mailing address), email is an option and, in a pinch, direct messages will work.

Ready, set, Go Ga-Ga!

1. Choose someone famous who you admire. Honestly, the more famous the better. Maybe it’s someone you loved as a kid– you grew up watching their movies or wearing their jerseys or reading their books. Maybe it’s someone who does the work you want to do. Maybe something they’ve done has shown you what is possible. Maybe you have their quote on your wall. Maybe they’re the one who inspired you to do what you’re doing in the first place.

2. Choose a friend or family member. Someone so close that a lot of things are understood but rarely said. Say them.

3. Now you’re warmed up and you have the hang of this. You know how to be generous with your compliments, you know how to be specific with your praise and admiration. It’s time to write a fan letter to yourself. Your instinct may be to hold back here, but do not skip this step.

Due to Buckwheat’s limited availability (and lack of enthusiasm for walks in the heat), we’re doing something a little different with the Wonder Walks this year. Since Wonder Walks are all about getting creative with the way we see things, I thought what better way to introduce new points of view than to literally invite new points of view. Each week, our Walks will be hosted by a different Guest Camp Counselor, offering us their unique lens so we can see our world in a whole new way.

Meet this week’s Guest Counselor: Meghan Marsh-King
Meghan Marsh King is a writer, brand strategist, and creative director based in Sonoma, California. When she’s not wandering, you can find her at her Substack home, Body of Work, weaving together literature, life, motherhood, and grief into a beautiful nest of thoughtful wonder.

Hello Campers, I’m Meghan, your guest counselor for the week. In addition to being a writer and creative director, I’m the lead counselor at Camp Mom this summer which has been a season of wonder and awe, joy and frustration, boredom and very little alone time, and insistent shouts of our theme song— “Mommy, mommy, play with me”— anytime I deign to open my laptop. 

It’s a dance, this season of late summer, for everyone really, but certainly for the parent of a 4 year old boy. A riff between the slow beauty of boredom—that strange backdoor to discovery—and the inane desire to be productive, to be useful. So I’ve learned to soften myself, and to be reminded: what could be more useful than the ability to simply play?

In this spirit, I’m taking us on a Wonder Walk inspired by the mind of my son. When I first asked him what we were looking for he said, “something wonderful,” which was quite cute, but perhaps inspired by my prompt, so we tried again and landed on “soft things.” Here’s how you can join us: 

• Step outside

• Walk in any direction that moves you (trikes and little companions welcome)

• Look for things that are soft; let yourself be open to what that looks or feels like. “Mommy, is a shadow soft?” Why, yes it is. “Is a hummingbird soft?” Yes, I imagine it is very soft, but much like a shadow, it’s not something we can hold.” 

• What makes you soften? 

• Capture it. Then maybe write it down (every picture is a great writing prompt). For this is the magic of the season—the ability to soften to the long ripe day, in spite of it all.

Tip toe down this path to see Meghan & Wallace’s delightful discoveries and share your walk to our Wonder Wall 👉🏻

STRIKE A POWER POSE

Remember when you could transform yourself in an instant? A pillowcase, a few clothespins, and your fist in the air could thrust you into flight as superman or wonder woman or an airplane with a cape. A raised pinkie over a teacup and you were the most beautiful (and well-mannered) princess in all the land. All it took was retracting your fingers to make claws or baring your teeth to make fangs.

Well, it might not be quite so instantaneous, but this week, we’re going to take 2 minutes to channel imagination and science to ignite our inner super power (pose).

Research has since challenged some of the findings since this TED Talk (here’s a condensed two minute version) first debuted, but what has remained true is that adopting an expansive stance makes people feel more powerful. In general, most of us could stand to take a up a little more space, so let’s drop those hunched shoulders and try it on for size.

Use this graphic to play around with shapes and stances until you find one that feels just right. Then hold for 2 minutes and see how you feel.

Still not sure? Would it help to know that Rebecca, Ted Lasso’s very powerful boss lady, power poses when she needs some extra confidence? Watch her secret power pose demonstration.

Let’s pretend the nights are chilly, the fireflies are blinking in the dark, and we’ve got a crackling campfire to gather around before you head back to real life. Join me and your fellow Campers in the comments to share a celebration and make your campfire song request. Use this fill-in-blank prompt if you’re not sure what to say:

I don’t know about you all, but this week has been _____. I do have to say, the best thing that happened was _____. I’d like to request a campfire rendition of __(song)___ so I can ___(verb)___ into the weekend.

I’ll meet you down there!