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“Hopefully, if you meet it with curiosity you can begin to understand it.” SUCH good advice. Curiosity is an opener of doors!

Thanks for this reflection! It’s wonderful to hear someone else put well-crafted words to thoughts you’ve had. That trying not to see life in your 40s as living out choices from your 30s is something I’ve thought about a lot over the past couple of years and as I’m about to turn 47. I, too, to have made lists of what I’ll never do. And I and a handful of my close friends are stepping out toward new paths, all of us well past our 30s--paths we’ve long dreamed of. Maybe it’s a refining. Narrowing down which of life’s many figs (a la Sylvia Path) most draws you and, at last, choosing. :)

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I'm so happy it resonated, Holly! I'm just stepping into this phase, but have felt (still feel) very unprepared for all of the things I'm confronting. I'm so happy more and more people are talking about it and writing about it, because I think there's so much power here (but first it feels pretty overwhelming)

Are there any voices or platforms you've found helpful or inspiring as you're navigating? As it happens, one of my clients is a brilliant company called Liberty Road (www.liberty-road.com) that is redefining midlife and creating support and resources for the process. I also found Avivah over on Elderberries who is doing really cool work around age. And, of course, Sari Botton...you know, I think I'll put this into a Note so I can link 😉

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Looking forward to After School! Sounds great. I didn’t realize mid life started so young. I’m way past it and still trying to figure out where to turn in my homework!

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I just love all this reflection! As someone who has done so much living, had so many adventures, and consistently wrote about it all, but still feels like I haven’t “accomplished” much, I really appreciated your thoughts on it all. I am already way past 50 and well, you can imagine how much more compounded the feelings become. I’m still figuring out my relationship with Substack and am grateful to have so many platforms with which to share ideas, insights, and inspiration. Creativity is our salvation, for sure.

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Just jumped on over to your stack, Lisa, to check out the adventures and living! I feel you on trying to refine the relationship with Substack.

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I intended on posting more this year but ended up rewriting a solo show and then taking it to Scotland for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival where I performed every day, 26 shows in a row in August. Have been recovering and reading like a maniac since I’ve been back. So much to post now but where to start?!! Been reading some amazing books though. The Bonobo Sisterhood (amazing must read for all!), Untamed (fantastic!), On Our Best Behavior (F*#k Yes!!!), and reading Rage Becomes Her now! Need a Bonobo book club now!

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Love Untamed. Must check out the others!

And way to go on the show. Sounds amazing. Looking forward to further posts. :)

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Lived in a Westfalia across the country for awhile as well. Ended up selling my Westy when I moved into a house in the San Gabriel Valley. I must have been crazy! So miss it and want it back. Fazes of life, choices to make. Need a few more lifetimes for sure. What can we do but write about it?!!

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Phases! Ha ha! Wonder where Fazes came from!!?!

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Dec 18, 2023Liked by Tami Carey

THIS. 🤩🥹 Thank you so much for sharing your deep wisdom and spacious heart, Tami! I wish I could go through and highlight all the parts that especially spoke to me. There would be a lot of yellow. I missed this post the first time around and just discovered it at the exactly right moment. This week I've been mediating on what my word for 2024 will be which has led me to journal about and question: What's the opposite of Regret? You've given me so much to ponder and revisit. Thank you for your generous words and spirit!!

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Oh I’m so glad it found you when you needed it. I hope you have all the space you need to explore these big questions. I find that the asking and pondering just keeps unfolding in new ways in my mind 🥰

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Sep 23, 2023Liked by Tami Carey

I love the line about Present Tami's choices and not Past Tami's consequences. Brilliant!

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Thank you!! It feels good to put words to something that’s hard to name but feels so clear ✨

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1. So so soooo many things.

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Sep 22, 2023·edited Sep 22, 2023Author

1. I am happy I moved to Chicago when I thought I'd be moving to New York. And I'm happy I moved to LA the second time I thought I'd be moving to New York.

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