Day 11: Joy

Tending to joy when it feels fragile and hard to come by

Welcome to Day 11 of the Outsourced Optimism Lightly Festive Digital Advent Calendar. Click here to learn more about this small seasonal series or to unwrap all the gifts in the archives.

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I am finding joy hard to come by right now. As soon as I secure a small slice, something outside my control swoops in and crushes it– general news and unwanted information, logistical and relational challenges, not-so-friendly reminders, hopes that have spoiled into disappointments.

Even as I write that, I can hear how powerless it sounds. I know many times when I feel this way, a posture change is what’s called for– what is an empowered action I can take, how else can I see this– but even standing in superwoman pose trying to physically channel my infinity isn’t working as a counter measure.

As I was updating the Camp AweGust Values Statement for Day 7’s Friendly Reminders poster, I initially left this part as is: Make something for joy.

I imagined all the holiday crafts opportunities and making parties that seem to pop up around this time. I know that making things with our hands can bring us into a moment, help us bypass our worries and thinking brains, and invite in our playful spirits.

But it wasn’t quite right. Not for this. Every pass, I’d change it a little bit. Find joy. Embrace joy. Bring joy. All good, true, and valid things. But, it wasn’t until I wrote this that I stopped editing: Tend to your own joy.

Why did I settle there? I think it’s because tending is an active and attentive approach that recognizes the influence of outside forces and sources on the overall wellbeing of a thing, and it meets that reality with the responsibility of watchful care and constant presence.

In a state where joy feels a bit fragile, where so much of our joy feels dependent, this is the invitation that felt most honest and empowering.

I could easily turn this into a list of ways to tend to our joy. Or an assignment to do something that brings you joy each day. (And please feel free to run with those prompts if that feels good.) But, for me, right now, it doesn’t feel right to meet a gentle invitation with a rigid plan.

So, here, instead, is a commitment statement. From me to you, as my witness. For you, from me, if you need it:

I will tend to my joy this season.

I will tend to my joy because my joy is my priority.

I will tend to my joy because my joy matters.

I will tend to my joy daily and with curiosity, because I know its needs may be different day to day. And also to prevent sneaky weeds from sprouting and strangling it.

I will tend to my joy like a watchful gardener, because I know it does not live in a vacuum and, while there are (real and figurative) weather patterns and forces and careless creatures I can’t prevent, I can be prepared to protect it.

I will tend to my joy in ways that are ease-y, recognizing that my capacity is limited and there is no need to overcomplicate this.

How will you tend to your joy today? How have you tended to your joy lately?

Yesterday, I took myself on a field trip to a new cafe, even though I don’t know this area very well and it didn’t feel like I had the time. I tried a fun specialty drink from their seasonal menu, which always lights me up. And, when I asked the barista to describe what an anise and caraway latte tastes like, she said it’s toasty and nutty and it feels like a warm hug.

And you know what? She was right.